Boomerang

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Time.

It has been some ‘time’ since I’ve been on my blog. But the major transformations that I’ve been enduring are so incredible. I make major leaps and even looking back on a month I’ll notice how much I’ve changed, digested, and grown as a person in every way possible. Life keeps throwing things at me but my ability to catch is strengthening tremendously.  The last time I wrote on here, I was being forced into a well needed aspect of life and that was “Self Love.”

Self Love is so important. It has really saved me. And it has nothing to do with a narcissistic behavioral pattern but everything to do with loving yourself and everything for how it is. All is self. I was going through some sort of a heart break on many levels and I began to realize just how strong I am. This is a piece I wrote a few months ago when I was in that dark but rich place.

Injoy 🙂

Boomerang 

I never thought it would come to this
I cant remember the last time we kissed
Our most intimate moments are beginning to blur
When I try to articulate how I use to feel
It all comes out in a slur
And for sure
I remember the love
I remember the beauty
I remember that you would hold me
And show me what it was like to be loved
But the feeling is starting to fade
It starts to mock me like a charade
And stalk me while I parade around the moments that I can’t remember

It was just last December you said “let’s me monogamous”
I believed you while the voices in head became monotonous
Telling me it could never be
She’ll fall in love as quick as you could nod and your heart would be broken before you had a chance to pick your head back up

I wanted it to be true
While finding myself I thought I had finally found you
With my new found digestion
I was finally ready to chew through
Anything keeping me from my love
I’d never considered that it just might be you

I didn’t realize that it was a boomerang I had  threw
The love returned to me it didn’t belong to you
Hi, Maya
My name is Maya
It had been so long I needed to introduce myself to myself
I know it’s been a long time but lately I’ve really been inspired
I didn’t realize what I was capable of with your love
It never dawned on me that that was what I was missing
But I stand here now
Glowing with ease
Pleased by what I see
Realizing that I have been granted the gift of ecstasy
Self love is the ultimate hug
Self Love The ultimate kiss And self Love  is the ultimate form of bliss
With this
I can soar

I’m not burdened with clinging to you any more
I’ve allowed myself to explore the wonderful world of myself
And with my curiosity I found jars of love up on the shelf
I stored them there with scars that tug me
I could never understand that pull inside
I perceived it as a dragging force so I would just hide
Please don’t bother me I’d say I’m not capable of love today
But who am I kidding
Growing up came with a great deal of ridding
Good bye heart broken girl
Good bye insecure child
Good bye fearful little one
Good bye to that strong shell
Break it
It isn’t protecting you from anything
It is blocking you from everything
This was all just a big lesson
The nucleus of this even bigger blessing


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